3 months later...

3 months later nothing has really changed with the way i feel for you.We might not be close that anyomore and we might not talk to each other much... We might not hug and kiss anymore and we might not keep in touch... We might look at the floor instead of each other but then i still love you... You will always have a special place in my heart.

Greatest Test of Love...

The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love. It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner's. We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other. But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man. Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him "I love you" and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry ? Enough to die? THE GREATEST TEST OF TRUE LOVE is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain. Lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving.

after 2 months...

I don’t know if fate has forsaken me. I’m in deep pain as usual. I was badly hurt emotionally . It has been 2 months from now when it started and it came to my senses that the relationship that I had was really crumbling down on me like boulders falling in my head it’s really painful when he said...."I’m sorry... ayoko na".
I really hate myself for the reason that I am a submissive person.
It’s so hard for me to think that there is someone out there who would see and appreciate me for who I am.

by chance and choice...

When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the right time. That's chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's chance. Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice. That's also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterward. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance. That's choice. When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice. Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make.

Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen." I do believe that soulmates do exist. That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not. We may meet our soulmates by chance, but loving and staying with our soulmate is still a choice we have to make.

A month later...

Loneliness kills me after a month since he walked away. That's what I am realizing now that I am far from the happiness of having my friends and family with me, everyday. If only I have more physical activities, I wouldn't feel alone. All day, I face the computer and doing some stuffs. Good thing there's my phone that whenever I receive text messages from friends, my loneliness scale lowers. Well, this is the price that I have to pay for being insecure and jealous.

Had he been here with me, I won't feel like this.

Now it's raining more than ever...

Now that it’s raining more than ever. The sun can't remember how to shine. The colors have faded into shades of gray. There is no life in this hollow heart of mine ever since you went away.
Close your eyes and feel me hold you. Can you lead me through this ordinary world?
Let the sky cry, restless rain to wash away the miles between us, because without you it's just an ordinary world.
If time could find a way to turn around , I would walk along the stars until i was back at your door.
Every word is spoken but without a sound and i found out what my heart.

Nasan ka na?

Sa loob ng tatlong buwan, madami na tayong napag samahan; mga gulo, problema na sumubok sa atin, mga tawanan at kasiyahang hindi malilimutan, mga luhang pumatak ng lingid sa kaalaman ng nakararami.
Sino ang makalilimot sa unang bonding moment natin? Dun una ko nakita ang iyong kakulitan at pagiging masayahin mga katangiang nagpapasaya sakin.
Ilang pinggan na ba ng pagkain ang ating pinataob? halos hindi ko mabilang, halos hindi ko matandaan.
Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang mga picture natin, ako ay napapangiti. Nakakatuwang isipin na sa konting panahon, madaming pangyayari ang hindi ko malilimutan. Mga ngiting mistulang walang katapusan.
Subalit lahat talaga siguro may katapusan. Lahat may pagtatapos, minsan maganda minsan hindi. Nagising na lang ako isang araw, ibang tao ka na. Hindi na ang dating mahal ko ilang buwan na ang nakalilipas.
Ang dati mo mga ngiti ngayo'y napalitan ng galit. Ang dati mong malambing na tinig ngayo'y napalitan ng poot. Hindi ko alam ang sa iyo ay nangyari? Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa isang iglap ikaw ay tuluyang nagbago?
Sinikap kong ikaw ay unawain. Nagbingi bingihan sa tuwing ikaw ay nagagalit. Pinalampas ang bawat sandaling ako'y iyong nasasaktan hindi sa pisikal na paraan kundi emosyonal.
Mahal ko nasaan ka na ngayon? Tuluyan mo na bang tatalikuran ang pagmamahalan matagal nating iniingatan...