after a year...

free from stress... weee! :p

sleepless night...

This is one of the mornings after another sleepless night that I cannot help but ask myself, why didn't I have a good night sleep again? Then I would just joke myself and answer it with, maybe someone's been thinking of me all night. haha (ang kapal!). They say jokes are always half-meant. And maybe, just maybe, behind that joke, there's this wishful thinking that someone has really been thinking of me. Then a memory of someone from the past would, again, bounce in my head, disturb my sanity and make my day half-miserable.

Paano kung iniisip pa rin niya ako? Paano kung mahal pa rin niya ako? Naaahh! Tsk,tsk. It's just another imagination. Another day of what if's and maybe's. For the nth time, I've told myself that when it's over, it's really over! There's no sense turning back and even trying to pick up the pieces again. It's time to move on and face the reality.

When it's over, is it really over? When you decide to let go, do you really succeed in letting go? I just remember Sugar Ray's song: When it's over, that's the time I fall in love again... When it's over, that's the time you're in my heart again... How can you possibly say it's over when you're still in love with the person you said you were over with?

The hardest part of losing a loved one is to accept the fact that they're gone and might never come back again. There are things that will always remind you of your togetherness... the places you've been, his favorite food you used to cook for him and the songs you've both love to sing. These are the memories that linger on your mind from time to time. Because you were both in love before (or so you think), it makes you hope for another chance.

We tend to think that the person who left us will come back one day and would promise (again) forever. Romantic movies and mushy love songs only make us long for something we cannot have and for someone who cannot be ours again. It hurts to admit that we are just pretending . All the while, we already knew the truth but we ignore it. When the damage is done, there's nothing left to do but cry, to mourn for the bitterness in our hearts. Then curse anybody who gets in the way. As long as we still hold on to the past, the chance of meeting someone new maybe a bit far off the field.

The fear of trusting and falling in love again may also hinder us to grow and move on. We are hesitant to take the risk, afraid that we may get hurt again. Because of the negative thoughts stocked in our brains, we refuse to go out in our self-made world and deprive ourselves from new opportunities, whether in love affairs or career wise.

Let's face it! Betrayal can be anywhere and anyone can be a victim. The worst part is when the one we truly, madly and deeply love is the one who will betray us in the end. Then we are left with nothing but a broken heart and a wounded pride. Sad, but true. (Reality check, please...) It can happen to anyone but we shouldn't take things as it comes. An action must be done. We should take care of ourselves from the hungry wolves in the jungle. It's just a matter of survival. Stand up when you fall.

It's okay to cry as hard and as long as you want to, just make sure that when you stop crying, you won't cry for same reason anymore. Learn and live. Love is the most wonderful thing one can offer, so be smart enough to give the love in your heart to the one who really deserves it.

11 months later...

and then another comes...

As usual, problems come and go. pero meron talagang hindi ko maintindihan.It sticks to me like a chewed gum with glue and rugby. Sobrang ayaw nitong mawala.As time goes by, more dirt sticks to it, turning into a bigger piece of sh*t.why won't it go? ilang beses ko na itong tinanggal yet it keeps on stickin' on me again. why God why?...

pain... insecurities... battles...

The toughest battles we face are those within ourselves. I hate this feeling, the feeling of insecurity. I don't know how to battle it and it sucks. It's eating me up. It hurts BIG time that i feel this way, i don't even know the cause of it all i know is that i want it to go away... haiiii

after 10 months...

Love and Relationship 101:

There’s always a possibility that a person can get attracted to another.. it’s human nature, it’s not wrong but the reason why you’re in a commitment is for you to discipline yourself. One may get attracted to numerous prospects.. it’s okay as long as you don’t nurse the feeling and won’t do something about it. The borderline between cheating and faithfulness is to recognize the reality that you already have the person that can give you more than what you can get from the cheap thrills of attraction.

9 months later...

Love takes time in dealing with pain...

It's sad when people make promises and break them, when they tell us things and we later realize they're all lies. But its sadder when someone came, stick to his promises, never told lies, but because of those broken truths in our pasts, we can no longer distinguish lies from truth. *sigh*

just a thought...

Sometimes you just want to quit when things start hurting you. You want to leave everything as it is before the pain gets worse but once you remember how much you've prayed, how much you really wanted it, and why you were fighting in the first place, hope comes back into your heart and maybe, just maybe. it is worth going this far.

after 8 months...

work... work... work... and more work for my future! :)

my Wish Lists...

In less than 4 hours, i'm gonna be 26! greet me you gorgeous people okay? gifts are very welcome! I accept both cash and kind, and service won't be bad, for as long as the service being given is satisfactory and the one giving the service is within my preference. hahaha kidding bleh

MY BIRTHDAY WISHLISTS:

1. an iPod won't be bad. i mean, who doesn't want to get an iPod? aight?

2. that gorgeous huge bag that looks kinda like a bowling bag, but its more MASCULINE. (GOLA and GUESS has it.)

3. a box of Mary Grace BROWNIES

7. a digicam!

8. laptop. :)

9. the ADIDAS jacket i soooo want. (dunno the name honeys..)

10. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. :) from my BABY of course (I really MISS YOU!)

11. Blessings from GOD

there. :) mwah!

7 months later...

busy being single...

this Valentine's Day...

Valentine’s Day is just about upon us. For many, this is the most romantic day of the year. What to do, what to do? Do we do the usual for our loved one(s), or do we try something exotic? Flowers and chocolates are the traditional thing to give and then a dinner out accompanies them. But there are ways to jazz up the day that really do not take much more effort but will mean so much more to your significant other for having put in the extra thought.

When it comes to romance, trying something different together is usually all it takes to heat up a hot evening.

Happy Valentines Day to all! =)

After 6 months...

yes, this is for you...

i breathe... yet lifeless... all because of you...

i thought i've psyched myself enough to block you out of me...

but guess again...

my brain can forget you, maybe put you in places i could never retrieve,

but my heart ceases to erase you...

even the tiniest details of you...

the way you stare, the way you laugh, the way you yawn...

i guess im doing an awesome job making people believe i'm ok,

tricking everyone into thinking "hey, he's so happy!"

well, im sorry,

but sometimes the roleplay has got to stop.

and it's all because of you.

do i hate you?

i guess not.

i cant blame you for going away like i cant blame the rain for ruining my shoes...

maybe your part of the story is done;

which i totally disagree on...

do i miss you?

every damn day of my life...

Another year... Another Start...

Oh yes, 2007 had been a year filled with laughter, fulfillment, pride, anger, envy, triumph and most of all -- LOVE.

It taught me many things in life. The past year had been very fruitful and meaningful. It might have been bitter, very painful. But it awakened me. It served as a wake up call for me. It made me understand the truth about life's struggles and how painful it is to have it all, make a decision, and lose everything that you once had.

Another year. Another start. I hope that God would always be there for me. I remember the footprints in the sand story, "...it is then that I carried you..." was a tag line that touches my heart and makes me cry at times.

Oh well, anyway, I hope we will have a happy year ahead of us. May God bless us and our families.

Happy New Year! Cheers! =)